Being Healthy Tastes Like Diabetes…

Coca Cola goes to trial about the sugar vs. vitamin content of their VitaminWater brand of drink. Their defense? If you believe that VitaminWater is healthy, you must be an idiot.

I can buy that.

Really – Coca-Cola manufactures this VitaminWater. Coca 'Cocaine gives it the zip you need' Cola. Maybe I'm a bitter cynic – but some of the colors that VitaminWater comes in aren't necessarily found in nature and that should have been a huge tip-off to the smart consumer… which are a dying breed apparently. But, you may ask (if you're intelligent, and you must be since you're here), who or what is bringing this lawsuit to bear against the mighty Coca-Cola?

The Center for Science In The Public Interest – those people. So what some people are calling 'lawsuit', I'm going to call 'shakedown'. That's all that this is – that's all they do. They come in, pretend to care, lawyer up and go after big companies. I think there is a legal term for this: extortion. Coca-Cola is trying to have the lawsuit dismissed on technicalities. That alone screams 'guilty' – I'm not letting Coca-Cola off the hook. Their "well, the customer should know better" (while true) isn't exactly going to go down in legal records as a sterling defense. Given what a litigious society this is, I think Coca-Cola would have put in a couple of disclaimers to use as STFU buttons again The Center for Science in Our Financial Interest.

If The Center was even legitimately interested in the public health, I think they would make more of a deal about children not getting vaccinated. There is an epidemic of whooping cough – with some children dying – and it could be easily avoided if the parents would just get their kids vaccinated. Let me be clear – I hate adults, especially adults who should know better. Adults who know not to get medical advice from a vacuum-headed silicone-dependent blonde woman are at least worth being put in the "not to actively despise" column (a very short one, indeed). The people who think that their little Ricky or Mumford or whatever they choose to call their spawn are just too precious to get inoculated honestly and deeply deserve everything they get.

I'm sorry, does that sound too horrible? Well – re-read the name of this blog. It isn't "Frolics With Overfriendly Kittens", it's "Practical Misanthropy". Anyone who willfully endangers the safety of others through stupidity is a danger to those around him. Anyone who looks to profit from said stupidity is a danger to all of mankind. The Center for Science In "The Public Interest" should be branded as a criminal organization, disbanded and scattered to the four winds. Are Americans obese? Yes. You don't have to have government grants to figure that out. Do we need some nanny organization telling us what to eat? No. Do whatever you want. Eat whatever you want. When you have that heart attack, when you have that stroke and you're left a drooling mess – do not come crying to me. You had ample opportunity to change. You didn't do it. It stopped being my problem when you went for thirds and fourths at Chuck'E'Cheeze.Now, I am sure that people are going to write in and say 'Mr. Practical Misanthropy – you're right… we're stupid slobs that Darwin should have bumped off years ago, but why be so heartless?'

You mean other than because I can?

Because being nice and kind to the idiots doesn't work anymore. In this day and age, if you want to get some attention, you need to start by beating them about the head and shoulders with a bat. As much as we want to say 'we're a good people, we're a kind people' – we're not. We are divided into two camps: the idiot and the predator. Guess which one you might be?If you guessed 'predator' – you're probably wrong.

Until next time...
Jugulare Mortuos